While We're Waiting...

Here's a quick look at the busyness of the summer here in the Russell household:

 Destin, Florida with our dear friends, the Walton family

 Cousins camp with the Russell side of the family

Jackson Hole, WY with my (Julia's) parents 

 Swimming with friends 

Cabo for our 12th Anniversary 

Summer Spectacular at the Hills

Memorial Day with our dear friends the Van Staverns & Walters 

A visit from & to my sister & her sweet boys 

A special time with adopting friends  

Swimming with the Johnson cousins

Its been a very full summer with several trips to fun places, many visits from friends and family, and lots and LOTS of swimming! It has been a blessing to get to spend time with so many of the people we dearly love. The summer has gone by so quickly that I just haven't taken the time to update what is going on on the adoption front. The busyness of the summer and life in general help a bit in this season of waiting!  People have been so sweet to ask what the status is of our adoption, and I'm sure they get tired of hearing, "we're just waiting!" but that's pretty much still the story. 

On August 22, we will have been on the official waiting list for a baby girl from Ethiopia for 4 months. And August 23 marks the year anniversary since God rocked our world & we began this journey of adoption. It's incredible to think all that God has done in our lives in the past year...and incredibly frustrating to know that we are not much closer to our baby girl than we were then. When we were DTE (dossier to ethiopia - adoption speak for on the waiting list!) the wait time for a baby girl was 7-10 months to referral (being matched with a child). Sometime in early July we got an email letting us know that our wait times have been extended to 11-18 months. That would put us at receiving a referral no earlier than March of 2012...and possibly as late as October. There is a very real possibility we may not bring our baby girl home until some time in 2013. It's kind of like being pregnant and someone saying, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we miscalculated and your gestation period is actually going to be more like that of an elephant." That is not exactly what we were prepared for! 

It has taken a while to process this information, and truthfully it hasn't completely sunk in even now. I am grateful in some ways for the busyness of this crazy summer and just the hectic life of being a mom to three girls. I can imagine if this were my first child, I would be agonizing every moment of the wait. As it is, while I think of her every day, I simply don't have time to worry every moment that she isn't here yet. Life goes on, at break-neck speed most of the time. But every once in a while, the emotions catch up with me and I break down. Like the other day when I realized that my maternal instincts to begin to "nest" have kicked in, but that it will be at least a year until the baby is here. Like I need to clean closets, and decorate a room, and get rid of useless junk, but the truth is, there is no rush. She might not even be born yet.

And so, I can dwell on the emotions of all these things, and I sometimes do, or I can continue the theme of this year - learning to trust God with the things He calls me to do. That this wasn't my idea in the first place, so its certainly not my place to say how & when it will happen. I get to practice patience and have my heart stretched to hurt more for the things that hurt His. I get to remember that He has a plan for me, for our family and our baby girl - a plan that is good and brings Him glory. And I get to see how He wants to use me in the waiting. I am at a place that a year ago, I thought would be ideal - all three kids potty trained and at least two days a week with a few hours to myself! I have loved not having to change diapers, and I am looking forward to preschool starting so that I can grocery shop without "help", but I'm ready to begin the next chapter of life with our new baby! Or at least, I think I am :). I am sure the Lord wants to prepare me in many ways for the challenges and struggles that lie ahead in the journey of adoption. I don't by any means think we're ready to take on all that may be coming our way, and we may never be. That's really beside the point. I know that He will do in us and through us more than we could ask or imagine! I fully expect Him to give me more than I can handle so He has a chance to show up, and remind me once again that this is not about me. I think people have often twisted the scripture that says, "He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear" to say "He won't ever give you more than you can handle". The truth is, if we can handle it, why would we need Him? And as we continue to wait, indefinitely, I most certainly do need Him. I hope I live in such a way that others will see that my confidence is in Him alone, and that I can trust Him to bring our baby girl in His timing. I just might need to be reminded of that from time to time :).