Mother's Day

Mother's Day was so good this year. Even if I felt a little guilty for spending about half of it alone! I'm reminded of a line from Finding Nemo where the dad fish (Marlin...sad that I know that) says to Dorie, "It's because I like you that I don't want to be with you...its a complicated emotion..."or something like that :). I haven't seen that movie in years, but I hear it playing from the backseat often (still working on watching less tv in the car!). I do love being with my family, but sometimes I need a little break to appreciate them! So Corey was gracious to give me time to myself, and I came home ready to take on the craziness of my three very girly girls and all that entails (more about that in another post coming your way soon).

It was a different kind of mother's day this year. This time last year I was seeing the light at the end of a long tunnel of diapers and someone wanting me to hold them 24/7...and this year I'm hoping and praying for MORE diapers, for MORE little voices calling my name. And I can truly say, that is all God. This year, motherhood has changed for me. God has opened my eyes to what being a mother can look like. I always thought I would have a little girl with curly blonde hair and green eyes, like me. Instead, I have three with straight blonde hair & blue eyes, and the hope of one with dark hair and skin who will be mine just the same. None of it is what I pictured in my mind's eye before I began this journey of motherhood, but as with everything, it was God's plan and it is much better than what I imagined.

This mother's day my heart broke for the mother who will carry my daughter, and then, through circumstances I may never know or understand, will have to give her up. She will never know the joy of watching this baby girl grow. She may never know how much we love her, how we will take good care of her, and teach her about Jesus. I can't imagine being in her shoes. But I am so thankful that she is willing to do what is best for her baby. I thank God for her sacrifice! And I anxiously await the day when her child will become my own. It may be much longer than we originally planned, but we continue to trust that God's plans are better than our own, and He will bring her to us in His timing.

I love this picture of my girls that my mom took recently. But it is incomplete! I see a hole here that a year ago, I never knew was there. And I praise Him for opening my eyes to what family can be if we are willing to say yes if and when He calls!